Are you planning on hosting a bingo party with all your closest friends and family members in attendance? If so, you’re probably looking for some extra entertainment in between bingo games. Or maybe you’re simply hoping to put a smile on the face of a loved one who really enjoys playing 75-ball bingo? Perhaps it’s you who needs a big belly laugh after a long, tiring week? Well, we’ve put together a collection of the funniest bingo humor the internet has to offer. Here you’ll find bingo puns, innuendo bingo jokes and a host of funny bingo quotes. Some of these jokes are corny, some are cheeky and the rest are clever plays on words. We hope the following jokes about bingo have you giggling as much as we did! But first, here are a few pointers to make sure you don’t cause a sense-of-humor failure before you start prompting the laughs.

The 10 rules of bingo

1. Never sit in your playing buddy’s lucky seat (or anyone else’s if you can help it.)

2. Never stare at your neighbor’s card and don’t make it easy for other players to see yours.

3. Never use the caller’s name in vain, no matter how long your losing streak gets.

4. Never call out “Bingo” falsely or you risk the wrath of an entire hall of seniors.

5. Never wish bad luck on your neighbor (at least not out loud.)

6. Don’t steal your spouse’s money for bingo games!

7. Don’t boast about how much money you win; fortune changes swiftly.

8. Don’t whine about how much money you lose (be a good sportsman.)

9. Don’t lust after your neighbor’s winnings.

10. Avoid threatening to kill the caller when the numbers don’t go your way!

Bingo number jokes

A close call

Back in the 1980s, a well-versed bingo caller collapsed while hosting a game at a popular bingo hall. He was rushed to hospital, where they attempted to find out the cause of his collapse. The doctor soon discovered a large tumor blocking his windpipe – it would seem all those years of calling in smoke-filled bingo halls had finally caught up with him! The poor man was quickly taken into surgery, where the mass was removed without any complications. Upon waking up from the anesthetic, the bingo caller asked anxiously whether the tumor was malignant. The surgeon replied with a cheeky smile, “Luckily, no. It’s completely B-9!”

Yellow 24

Mr. James has been feeling ill for a few days, so he decides to make an appointment to see his doctor. Following the examination, the doctor tells him, “Mr. James, I’m sorry to say that you have Yellow 24 – a disease that eventually causes you to turn yellow. Once your skin discolors, you’ll have approximately 24 hours to live. Sorry to be the bearer of such bad news.”

Mr. James is shocked and doesn’t know what to do. After panicking for a few hours, he accepts his fate and decides to go home to share the bad news with his wife. “Oh, no!” she gasps. “You’ve already started turning yellow! We’d better make the most of the time you have left.” He agrees and they begin to discuss ideas about where to go and what to do.

Having minimal time to work with, they both decide that it’s best to keep it simple and head over to the local bingo hall. Unfortunately, luck doesn’t seem to be on their side as the night progresses… until the final round. Mr. James calls a line, then another, followed by a house to win the round. Happily, he heads over to the bingo caller to claim his winnings. The caller looks at him and says, “Wow! It must be your lucky night. Three wins in one game is remarkable!”

Mr. James looks back at him sadly and says, “Lucky? I’m not lucky. I have Yellow 24.”

The caller’s eyes widen when he hears this. “Well, I’ll be…!” he exclaims. “He’s won the bloody raffle, too!”

Quick-fire bingo puns

• How can you tell when a die-hard bingo player isn’t interested in you romantically?

You’ve called their number 10 times and they still don’t answer.

• How can you provoke a group of sweet elderly people to curse without fail?

Shout: “Bingo!”

• How do vampires play bingo?

With stake money!

• What do you call a woman who’s obsessed with playing bingo?

Betty.

• What do you do when your spouse threatens to leave you if you don’t stop playing bingo online with friends?

Find a new spouse.

• Why couldn’t a group of friends proceed with their long-awaited bingo night?

The city had a blackout.

• A group of avid bingo players decided to forgo their online bingo game and play something else for a change. They decided on a game of pool. How many balls did they bring along?

75!

• You shouldn’t take bingo too seriously. 

At the end of the day, it’s just a load of balls!

• What does a bingo player have in common with a driver in a parking lot?

They’re both wishing for a free space!

• I threw a bingo party and invited a blind bingo caller to do the honors. He’s not a close friend or anything – he was just there to make up the numbers.

• What do you call it when an old man wins three games of bingo in a row?

A Jerry hat-trick.

• What’s a social media influencer’s favorite bingo call?

86… Instagram pics.

• What is the call for bingo at the breakfast table?

38… avocado on the plate.

Enjoy world-class online bingo games at Borgata Online

As you can see, the number of bingo jokes you can stumble across is more than enough to entertain. We hope you’ve enjoyed our selection of some of the best gambling jokes. If fun and games are what you’re after, Borgata Online is the platform of choice for online bingo players who want to play for real money. Even if you don’t have any experience playing the game, Borgata Online makes it fun and easy to learn how to play bingo online. Choose from a wide variety of options, including 90-ball bingo games, 75-ball bingo and Slingo (a combination of online slots and bingo.) You’re bound to find your “cup of tea,” whatever it may be!

If you’d like to explore our menu of games on offer, feel free to register via our mobile portal. Enjoy!